Overwhelmed and Overloaded

Adjusting to loss, whether it be losing your old schedule and lifestyle or losing loved ones, is an experience billions have been sharing for over a year now, thanks to the pandemic. For some, it feels like it lined up horribly; maybe right when life was starting to look up and change for the better. But, for me, it seems when the worst year for lifestyle structure and health came, so did the worst year of high school. 

As I sit at home with a workspace that makes it feel impossible to concentrate and keep up with work, I sometimes wonder if there could ever be a worse time for the pandemic to come. A lack of space, consistency, silence, and sometimes materials for school makes learning all the more difficult from my dining room table and bedroom I cycle between. 

Sore shoulders and fingers from typing away at my laptop for hours. Strained eyes from staring at a screen or not getting enough sleep. Headaches from stress, too much screen time, and God knows what. 

The walls built to separate school from personal life that had been established and deepened for years came crumbling down after the “extended spring break” kept extending and extending. It’s impossible to feel like you’ll get a break when your Google Classroom to-do list updates each day and the notes you keep of work coming up starts building up faster than you can complete each task. I feel like my laptop when it heats up and blasts out air from having too many tabs opened at once. 

School has always been stressful, but the full amount of stress seems to have multiplied with the college question approaching. The weight on my shoulders when it feels like I have to decide my career path and, consequently, the rest of my life at seventeen, is staggering.

Overwhelmed, overloaded, and waiting for it all to be over in June, is a summary of my virtual learning experience this junior year.